The Super Connector Playbook with Marc Shaffer

Networking has a reputation problem. Too many of us picture awkward name tags, forced small talk, and that sinking feeling that we’re being sold to. So we brought on someone who’s known across Kansas City for doing the exact opposite: Marc Shaffer, a financial planner and community builder who’s earned a reputation as a true “super connector” by leading with generosity, curiosity, and follow-through.

We talk about how Marc learned the craft of relationship building through Rotary and mentorship, then turned it into a clear, repeatable system. We dig into the philosophy behind his book One For All, including the idea that what you give “in slices” can come back “in loaves” when you play the long game. You’ll hear how an abundance mindset changes the way you lead, how you follow up, and how you show up in your community without making everything about business.

You’ll also get practical tools you can steal today: how to network as an introvert by going deeper with fewer people, how to use milestones and small acts of kindness to strengthen trust, and how templates, reminders, newsletters and social media can help you stay present even when life is full. Marc also shares how he uses personality assessments to understand working styles and build better partnerships.

If you want to become the kind of leader people remember and recommend, press play, then subscribe, share this with a friend who hates networking, and leave us a review. What relationship habit are you ready to build next?

Connect with Marc: https://searcyfinancial.com/oneforall

Follow us on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/rhondajhale/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/katieervin/

www.jolyean.com

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Check out Rhonda's Etsy shop:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThingsForge

Order Dr. Katie's books: 

• 52 Weeks of LEADERship:  https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=afiG9oMq4YoXnvxsSD9PDjTrezQvZd6A7vBE1T2yaGz
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Learn more about Catalyst LEADERs Institute:  www.katieervin.com/leaders

 
Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/

Transcript

Welcome And The Purple Clue

Dr. Katie 0:00

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to the Path to Leadership. I'm Dr.

Rhonda Jolyean 0:03

Katie and I'm Rhonda Jolene.

Dr. Katie 0:06

And we are so thrilled to have you. Whether you are a longtime listener or just tuning in, or maybe you're tuning in for our special guest today, we're we're happy that you have downloaded and started the podcast.

Rhonda Jolyean 0:19

I wouldn't be surprised if people are tuning in just for our special guest because, and we will talk about this. He is well known in our community, the community of Kansas City. And we're going to talk about how he is a super connector. So I bet there are a lot of people who are tuning in just for our guests. If people haven't read the title or have guessed who our guest is, I'll give them a hint. And I wore one of my least favorite colors just for our guest today.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Great.

Rhonda Jolyean 0:52

It is purple because this person is a K-State super fan as well. So a team that I respect, but I don't wear their colors very often. But you will see him around town wearing purple all the time. We'll let him introduce himself here in a little bit, but I'm excited to have him on. Katie, what do you want to say about our guest?

Dr. Katie 1:16

Yeah, well, and we've talked about it on previous podcasts. We wouldn't know each other without him. He he talked about connector. He's the reason why we know each other. And more importantly, he's such a good friend and kind and helpful and supportive in every way. So super awkward to sit on screen and have people talk goodness about you. So let's just bring him in. Hey Mark, how are you?

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Happy Monday. I'm great. I am glad to be here. And I love people that still support K-State, even if they're not an alum. My wife is one of them. She looks great in purple.

Dr. Katie 1:52

Well, and I think, you know, that's one of the things that I think helps you introduce me to people because you're like, and she's a wildcat.

Rhonda Jolyean 1:59

Like I do think it's interesting that people have colors associated with them. As someone who talks about visual effects and sensorial tactics a lot, you know, Mark is really well known for purple. We'll even get into his book, and heck, the cover of it is purple as well. And Katie is known for green. And all of your books have that branded green as well. And that is one visual effect that people associate with both of you. And I, you know, people remember those things.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

So that's true. That's the first chapter of the book. We'll probably dive into that in a little bit. But the another fun fact, Rhonda, is we met through another great case stator as well, Taylor Miller. We'll make sure she's listening to this podcast.

Rhonda Jolyean 2:48

Oh, we should make sure she's listening. I will definitely send this directly to her since K State got a shout-out for sure.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

She's a fan of Casey UR, but we need to add her to this podcast listening to.

Dr. Katie 3:01

Yeah, and I don't know, I don't know her. So, Rhonda, what are you doing? I need to know her too. I know.

Rhonda Jolyean 3:06

I need to be a super connector for sure.

Dr. Katie 3:11

Well, so before Rhonda, you join me as my co-host, before Mark introduced us, I had Mark on the podcast when it was just me, but I know we have a lot of new listeners. We have a lot of listeners around the world. So, Mark, will you just do a little introduction, who you are, what you do, all that kind of good stuff?

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Yeah, yeah. So I don't work for K-State. I just graduated from there over 20 years ago now, but I pretend to be a student still. I did have a degree in family studies and human services from the College of Health and Human Sciences there, which I think attracts a lot of what I lean into, including my book.

Meet Mark The Community Connector

SPEAKER_00 3:50

But professionally, I am a financial planner and a CFO at CRC Financial Services. And I've been here 20 years and celebrated that in April, just a couple months ago. My role has just morphed into being a little bit of everything to having scale and other talent join the firm. So I don't have to do a little bit of everything. When there's a group of five or smaller numbers, you just everybody has to do everything. We're bigger now, not huge. I think 13 people, but I get to focus on community engagement and community involvement, which leads to connecting our clients and contacts to under other other wonderful people, which is what the book is all about, right? So I'm also personally a father of two little kids and my wife who uh went to KU and was in public health but appreciates K-State. And then we'll see where our kids go. That's a whole long debate. We've got 14 years to figure that out until the oldest goes somewhere.

Rhonda Jolyean 4:41

Well, for our international listeners, K-State and KU are notorious rivals in the same state of Kansas. And so it is what is called a house divided. And so it is very interesting when people from the two different colleges connect.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

So very true. Very true.

Dr. Katie 5:03

Well, let's jump in because we we referenced your books a couple of times. We're gonna jump in and talk about those here in a minute. But we we tease that you're a you're a connector, but you really are, and so people know you in Kansas City. When your name comes up, people just naturally know that you connect uh with people. At what point did you realize that this is something that that you do really well? And then you created a system around it.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

I think early on in my career, people did it for me. And so uh I joined Rotary, which is an international organization, probably two or three years into CRC Financial, which I was at the time probably 26. So I've been involved with Rotary for several years, and that organization connected me to other small business owners, mentors, friendships. And I think that without that and realizing that in a community where you can't do it all, you gotta know people that can help you get what you want. The whole theme of the book is handed out in slices and it comes back in loaves, which is an Irish proverb that is very true to, you know, once you've been mentored enough, you should also become the mentor and give back. No different than the introductions, the connections, and part of my biggest satisfaction and what I get

Rotary And Learning To Give Back

SPEAKER_00 6:20

to do that the book centers around is finding out what happens because of the connections. Some people, it's it's cold and it doesn't go anywhere, but the few that stick and it becomes a difference maker in a life or advances their business or personal agenda is where I find my personal satisfaction. I just happen to get paid to kind of do some of that through financial planning, is what what I really do from a job perspective. But again, if you help people get what they want, it comes back in tenfold and loaves in that example. So I look forward to continuing to do that and have a wonderful team that helps me create the capacity to do it.

unknown 6:55

Yeah.

Rhonda Jolyean 6:57

I love it because, and some people might be listening, thinking, oh, while he's a financial advisor, doesn't he just approach people for the business? And I can attest that that is absolutely not true. You are purely and authentically there just to meet people and for the goodness of your heart, connect people to things that you're passionate about, to people that you're passionate about. You've never talked to me about your business. You've sent me links to certain things and things you're passionate about, but it's always what can how can I serve you? You're very much a servant leader first. And one of the first, one of the first things that we talked about were things that I'm passionate about, which is playing with Lego and leadership. And the the first thing that you said to me was, you have to meet Katie Irving. Have you, do you know about her? And so it's all about for you, when I think of you as a connector, it business is the last thing that I think about. I always think about how you bring people together and relationships. And I think that is why you're so successful, is because it's never about the bottom line. And that's something that is obviously not always accepted in this catalytic society. So, can you talk about where that kind of came about? And was that something you learned from your mentors early on, or did you develop this on your own?

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Sometimes you learn from the things you don't like or appreciate. So, as a person that doesn't like to be sold, I never wanted to come across as that person. And if you're talking about financial planning and money, it's some of what is most personal topics for people. I was mentored by the founder of our company, Mike Searcy, Searce Financial, and he came from a sales background because our firm celebrated 50 years. 50 years ago, it wasn't as relationship-based as it has turned into today, which I believe is a good thing. So I saw how it worked for him, but things were changing in the last 20 years. The good news is that I was working for a team in a company that didn't say, you're gonna fail if you don't make a sale. Like I was never expected to bring on business, it was a byproduct of what I liked doing. The really good news about what was fortunate for me is I wasn't going anywhere. I've been here 20 years, I won't go anywhere else. I'll be I'll probably retire. I I consider mid-career, I have another 20 years, and my wife and I have ages. We have our own financial planner on our team at Searcy Financial that says we're on track. So I don't care if and when people come on, as long as you let it take care of itself. And you guys probably talk about this in your podcast a lot, but I I believe in an abundance mindset. So, like if if you're not thinking of scarcity and you gotta bring on revenue and get scared if we go through market corrections or just people leaving, I'm more of a it everything happens for a reason. Some doors open, we need to walk through them, but unless we push the door open, I don't I don't believe in that. So just recognize opportunity and the way to get there is helping. So uh I'm glad that it's recognized in that way in the community because that fits really well with what I'm trying to teach people through my book.

Dr. Katie 10:05

Oh, I love it. Yeah, yeah, I love that. And I am very similar to you, where it's you know, the relationship will take care of what it needs to take care of, whether it's business, whether it's friendship, whether it's connection, like what whatever it is, it will serve itself, and there's no need to put pressure or stress on it, and everything will come around. I love your book. I love

Abundance Mindset Over Selling

Dr. Katie 10:30

everything about your book. We've kind of teased it, but can you talk about the book and why you wrote it, like how how one for all came to be? What what what made you do it?

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Yeah, that's I like new challenges. I'm not a writer. I will admit that I have learned how to write and been pushed out of my comfort zone. And once you do with things enough, it becomes easier. So the founder of the company recognized that I was doing it maybe a little bit differently than what he'd done in the past, and he asked me to write a process. This was probably five or six years after I started. And I remember making a one-page thing of here's the things I do and here's how it works, but really there was a bigger philosophy behind it, right? Like it wasn't just to check the box, but the important part that I think about starting that page that I gave to him that we wanted to incorporate around our team for helping others was that it was a process because when everything's busy and there's not enough time, if you don't have a process and know what the next step is, then you kind of let things slip and then you don't have the consistency. And I believe consistency and reminders and systems are what bring relationships a little bit further. That the art part about it is doing it authentically, right? So I might be following a process and sending a note and doing that, but if you can do it authentically around making people feel like they're not a process, but it's just what works best in my experience. But 10 years after I wrote the one pager, it became a book and a philosophy around which we're trying to build a team and a company and a service model. I will also admit that between those times, I read a book called Giftology by John Rulin. If you guys haven't read that one, add it to your list. And not only is it about networking, but paying it forward one for all, helping everybody, but also surprise and delight. And gifts are a really big thing that I loved, and the team, my team has started doing it in a really good way. I see the budget line items on gifts, and we're sending nice things to lots of people, but it does take care of itself in ways that you get appreciation. Referrals, yes, business revenue, that's okay to talk about too. It does end up paying for itself. That's not why we do it. But again, back to the abundance mindset. I think that that's a big deal. But the process after the founder was retired was in a book, and I sent it to him. He has read it and he loves it, but it took 10 years to get to. So some things, good things can take time. Yeah, I love that.

Rhonda Jolyean 13:00

So for people that haven't read your book, and I guess, well, to back up, you and I first connected about a lot of things, but one thing that we connected on is that, and I hope your wife is okay with this. I don't care if my husband's okay with this, but I'm gonna throw our spouses under the bus a little bit. Um, that we are very extroverted people. We like to network, we like to connect, and we happen to be married to people who don't. And so for people who out there who haven't read the book, who might be thinking, this is all great. I am an introvert, I hate networking, I've been burned by it before. I it makes me nervous. Yeah, that's great that he wrote a system, but either you're a networker or a connector or you're not. What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 13:51

One thing is, believe it or not, early in my career, I called myself an introvert too. It's interesting because I took even, I think it's the culture index survey years ago, and I was a technical expert, which is someone more into the details. But I think that the book was written, and when I got my writing coach, they

Turning A One Pager Into A Book

SPEAKER_00 14:10

asked me to have an avatar. Who are you actually writing to? And it was myself years ago, and it also happened to be someone else on my team who's an introvert. So part of the book you'll notice is some very basic things and things you need to do because when you start out, you don't have a network, right? And so if you can not feel overwhelmed about going to a room and talking to everybody in there and find the few that there might have a common common commonality in, that's where you connect. And I am better as an introvert. I think, is there an ambivert? You guys have heard of that. I think both. Yeah, there is. And so I think that's really what I am. But the whole goal of the broad networking is to find someone you can go deeper with and do one-on-one. I am so much better at that than walking into a room and not knowing anybody. So, really, if you put away the fear of trying to meet everybody and do a thousand things and make sure that it starts small and go deeper with a few people, that pays huge dividends later. And and you don't need to have everything in common with somebody. Sometimes the thing you don't have in common is what drives a relationship deeper. But if you stay surface level, you never get to figure out what those things are. I lead with vulnerability, and so sometimes it's this is who I am, whether you like it or not. And sometimes the people that disagree, they respect that, and that's the type of person I want to be around. So lead with vulnerability too is another big thing I tell people. I don't know that I answered your question, but extrovert and introvert, I'm not sure that it matters. There's a place for everybody as it relates to getting to know people deeper and helping them.

Rhonda Jolyean 15:38

I think you did. I think it's important that people understand that it doesn't have to be networking, and you talk about this. It doesn't have to be a broad net and the old ways of networking don't always have to be. I walk into a room, I wear a badge, I don't know anybody, I have to walk up to people. I think what you preach is, you know, having like a little a warm intro or knowing somebody just a little bit and having that one-on-one connection is really what it's about. You don't have to know thousands of people. You can know a few amount of people, but go really deep on that connection. And I think that that is one, more authentic, but two, it also works for people who consider themselves people who don't want to know people. It works for neurodivergent people who I work a lot with. And I think it just works in this new age of folks who want to be more tech based or remote, et cetera.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

So I'll admit, I'll admit this. My first chapter is all about branding. We talked about a bit ago, but some people don't know what their brand is. Like I didn't know what life experience would turn into branding. Obviously, K-State was early on, but being passionate about kids because of a fertility journey that I had wasn't until later on. Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, because my mom fought leukemia, didn't become a priority till later. But I think that over life you figure out what your brand is and whether you're intentional about being very knowledgeable at it, supporting it, or volunteering in it. But being able to identify others' brands where they don't promote it the same way, but helping them exploit it, helping them make sure they know where to get additional resources for it, that's that's a part about going deeper. If everybody just had a banner like I do that wears purple and loves K State, you could find quicker connections. So I think that us in this group knows that, but most people out there in the avatar that I was writing to hadn't figured that out yet. So it was more of a book around helping figure that out and being very knowledgeable about it.

unknown 17:44

Yeah.

Dr. Katie 17:45

Yeah. Well, and I love, I mean, even it's it's so beautiful how our experience gets us where we are today and our brand and our passions and what is so important to us. And really, you're so much focused on service over self-promotion. And you can see that in the connections you make and how you make connections, you're so thoughtful in doing that. And that's always like when when you recommend I connect with someone, I'm like, oh, he's he's gone deep with them, he's gone deep with me, he's vetted them. You're not going to connect me with someone that's gonna be a waste of their time or my time. And I think that's so beneficial for everyone.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Yeah, as you get more established, it gets harder because some people you gotta test the water, make sure that they are a great connection before you can go deep. And Ed, I I'm glad you appreciate all mine. Katie, you're one of them. Even if I haven't done that yet, introducing them to you helps bring it even closer back around. And in a real network of making introductions, even though you might do something that helps them, the social credit comes back to me. So who you introduce and making sure it's good is a reflection on you. So I I I have a a long list of great people I connect, but over time you got to be careful with that too.

Dr. Katie 18:58

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do. Well, and so I you talked about generosity and gift giving. And I mean, you were so kind. It's always I I have a we

Introverts Networking And Personal Brand

Dr. Katie 19:10

moved to a new house, and within a week of being in our new house, Ron, I don't know if I told you this. I had like I got a box by FedEx, and I'm like, what in the world am I getting from FedEx? And it was a return address stamp from Mark. I mean, just so thoughtful. Um, and you know, y'all, you're so thoughtful in inviting my husband and I to events, and then afterwards, there's always such wonderful cards with pictures that we're not always in because we leave early.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

It rains sometimes, even so or maybe another reason. Yes.

Dr. Katie 19:44

It rains, we're older, we get tired, we don't have any kids at home, so we're not like avoiding, you know, babies uh there's three events in particular. Like we've left before the pictures, then that's that's okay. We're old. Right, right. It's fine. We're we feel good about it. But you're just always so thoughtful with all of that. And and I know I've asked you this before, and I know you talk about it in the book, but how do you how do you do that and and stay on top of all of it?

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Systems and now great people. The first part of the first part that started was send out cards. The girl named Brenda Perkins is wonderful. You don't know her, maybe you do. She's great. She taught me how to incorporate digital cards with gift giving in a way that was still done nice and it wasn't handwritten, which everybody that's listening said, Oh my gosh, you don't handwrite things. You couldn't read it if I did. So I've learned and I had a hard time switching from handwritten to digital. But if you can be sincere in what you're writing on there, capture moments, add photos, be consistent, then it doesn't matter that it's more digital instead of handwritten. But I will tell you, like, your comment on getting an address thing, uh, address return address stamp. We've created internally like a list of things we like to do for people when certain milestones get having a baby is a big one. You move to a new house is another one, moving to a new state, totally different. Buying a new car, like if you think of all these reasons and things that people either celebrate, one big one I love sending, especially when their kids say I'm going to K-State. Believe me, they're getting something purple. And even KU people get things. But if you can help people celebrate the milestones, that is fantastic. And I will say this on this one because Mike Meyer will get it next week. I will be at Art That Blows next week celebrating that. But even like Mike posted a photo, and it was him with I don't know, six grandkids. He looks crazy. Like, life is crazy with grandkids. And I I take the photo and I send it to him and I just said, I love seeing you in the afterlife. And like just a little thing about it, and it's not anything special, and it's a whatever that costs in a stamp. Um, it's the memory, it stands on a table, it ends up on the refrigerator, people don't print their own cards. I love doing that, and I look at Facebook in a different way to resend stuff that people. Well, otherwise sharing that means a lot to them. That goes a long way.

Rhonda Jolyean 22:03

Oh, I love that. I love that. Well, and that's just an adjustment to for people who might not want to write a thank you note or write a card, but they can digitally download that picture and then type out something and send it. And that might sound easier than a blank page staring staring at a blank page or you know Savannah Bananas.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

I heard him speak. Katie, I was we were together. Remember? Yes. Uh I forget his name, but he's the yellow guy on the suit. He really did it with video messages. So whatever it is, like choose your thing. Like he sends birthday message in a video and then texts it. I know our friend Michael Emerino does those text voice texts that disappear. I don't sometimes I read them like two weeks later. I'm like, I don't, I'm, I must not, I must be too old for this trend. But whatever it is, find your thing and consistency. Mine just happens to be send out cards or digital stuff, and it's had good results so long as I stay stay on top of it for sure.

Rhonda Jolyean 22:59

Yeah. Yeah. I think that consistency is the hard part in an ever-evolving world. But I think when you go back to having that system, that is really priceless. And I do know that you have a great team around you too when it comes to your professional life. So that is something that we can think about as people, you know, like Katie and I have each other as entrepreneurs, but people listening might have their families that they can think about as a system or, you know, to hold them accountable or friends, you know, you could get together and work on cards or things like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

It doesn't have to be the grand scale. Like I've tried to push it even further. It's created a budget for doing more of this. But if you're gonna do it, do it well with a smaller group first, right? Otherwise, it you can't do it half-assed poorly. Does that make sense? Yeah. So and start small because otherwise you don't build upon. And when you start small and you feel good, positive, what is it? Pavlov's dog, like it's positive reinforcement. Then you want to do more of it. And there is studies that show the appreciation for what you're doing feels better than a lot of other things. So gift giving is better than receiving a gift in the same way. So I can tell you that I'm almost driven to do more by the thank yous or the texts or the little things that I get in response to it. That's not why I'm doing it, but that will drive you as you get started too.

Dr. Katie 24:26

Yeah. You know, and it's funny because at 4 30 every day, I have on my calendar gratitude and reflection. And whoever pops into my head at 4 30, I will send him a note. And a lot of times it's random, someone I haven't thought about in a while, or and I'll send him a note and say, I'm not sure why you popped my head, but you did. And I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you. But you're right, Mark. Like it now happens to me at 9 a.m. and I'm like driving someplace. I'm like, I don't know why you're in my head, but I just want to send you a love note. You're I'm thinking about you. And and it is a lot of times

Milestones Gifts And Follow Up Habits

Dr. Katie 25:00

people will say, You didn't know that I needed that, but I did. Or, you know, this makes me so happy. And it's like, oh, let's do this more. Let's let's send those random love notes.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

I'll admit in mid-career where I still have some mentors that are older and I have mentees. Like I go, I try to go hope people feel like this. I try to go out of my way to my mentors that have been mentors a long time to tell them how much I appreciate them. Because man, I hope somebody does that for me when I'm seven-year-olds and and I'm not working anymore. And like that is what you thrive on as in terms of making an impact. But if no one tells you, I mean, I I can just imagine how good it feels. So I want to do that, right? Yeah, right, yeah, exactly.

Dr. Katie 25:40

I agree, I agree. And so let's jump to kindness. We've kind of talked about it and leadership is important to you and investing in yourself and investing in others. And we talk a lot about leadership. I mean, that's our whole podcast, what we what we do. But I think sometimes people confuse intentional kindness and leadership and kind of the work they do. So will you talk a little bit? I know this is a weird way. My brain is like spinning with all of these questions. I want to we could talk for three days. But before we jump all the way into kindness, let's talk about leadership. How you invest in your leadership, the work you do, how do you be an effective leader?

SPEAKER_00 26:24

I would say that intentionally finding stuff to commit to. I mean, the leadership leaders institute was one of them, what, three years ago? It's been a while now, right? Yeah, I think. That was an intentional thing a few years ago. Before Rotary was the first one when I was 25. It's been the Centurion's Leadership Program. It's been writing a book, like challenges is what I like. And and there's this quotes in the book. I say it a lot. The difference between who you are now and in five years can be found in the people you meet, the books you read. So try I'm not perfect. This I'm going through a reset and calendar, which we could talk all about that. Uh make sure you're reading and meeting new people all the time. I also lean into meeting people that think differently. You know, do you guys know who Mick Johnson is? I talk about him some. If not, I should introduce you to him. He is a thinker of I'm a get work all the time, head down, always doing something. Like maybe work, I don't remember last time I worked a normal 40-hour week, but I love my job. Mick is the opposite. Carpe DM the shit out of this life, is his life saying. So even though like I need to find a happy meeting between Mick and I, so in order to do that, I meet with him regularly to get pushed in that direction. So even though I don't relax, I don't, and he has reasons for being that, that's a whole episode for you guys to talk with Mick about of losing his father when he was young. Like, but in other words, I think leadership is taught or learned through other people and keep meeting them and reading good books. So I don't know that I answered your question, but every new thing that I get involved with is a way to incorporate leadership.

Dr. Katie 27:59

No, I think that's great. I do not know him, so you you now have homework. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Sticky pad writing it down.

Rhonda Jolyean 28:06

Yep. As someone who also lost their father young, I would definitely like to meet this person. And we've talked, you've, you know, talked about so many different people that you've listened to. I know that you go around town hearing people speak, obviously meeting with people, you read so much. You know, what are as if there are people listening in our audience who are leaders, what are some ways that some of our leaders can intentionally build stronger relationships intentionally today? Like what's one thing that they could do to build intentional relationships today with their teams?

SPEAKER_00 28:49

I would say it starts with this. You find someone who's you aspire to be more alike, and that's the mentor-mentee relationship, and meet with them and ask them how they got there. Most people are really happy talking about themselves. And if you're the one asking the questions and letting them drive the conversation, and then I would always end those conversations with if they had any pain, how can I solve it? Which is often an introduction, and hopefully they can recognize and good people ask, how can I help you? and continuing to further other people that you can meet as a challenge to your thinking, that that is how you can do it. And you know, there's a few people that always rise to the top that I try to make it a priority to re meet with regularly. So I don't let a year go by without meeting them again. It's Katie, one of them's Brad Douglas. I meet with him pretty regularly. Yeah. So like it's if I didn't reach out to him, it's intentional. It's not that Brad's bad about it. I I just have a reminder every few months. Frank Keck is another one. So there's a group of people I do this with that you need to have your own reminders because man, if you don't, it's all of a sudden it's been two years. You know, like what happened? And a lot changes in six months, let alone two years. So be very intentional about the people that pour into you, pour into them, but meet with them regularly. That's where things come out.

Dr. Katie 30:05

Yeah. Yeah, it's funny you say how quick it can't buy because our we're recording this a week before this podcast comes out. The podcast coming out tomorrow, which will be uh June 30th, is Mark Mears. And I adore Mark Mears, but it had been the longest time since we had gotten together. And when we got together, we realized it had been almost a year and a half, and it just because you see people on social media and you, you know, you you just catch up with people, and then when you get together and sit down, you realize, gosh, it's been so long. Too long.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Yeah, and I will say, and I probably mentioned this before, and even in my book, I have this, I'll call it a cheat sheet. I keep a lot of notes and Outlook signature lines. So I can go into Outlook and say, Great to meet you, template, and you know, a 15-page thing will come up and I'll delete the things I didn't talk to about with a new person. But also another signature line that I have is great connections. And it has their name, their company link, and their LinkedIn profile. And for me, I review it regularly to think these are the people I want to be keeping front of mind for introductions. This is what I need to review after I meet with someone new, go through this list of I'll call it 80 people. Yes, it's a lot, but I've done this a long time, and say if they didn't, if I didn't think about it when I was sitting there talking about them, does

Leadership Growth Through People And Books

SPEAKER_00 31:20

anything resonate now to make sure I can have a follow-up? And again, to your point, Katie, it's gotta be worthy connection. You're just not making connections to make them. And I think it's important to recognize open networkers. Who did I just meet that I really? Ryan Martin. Do you guys know who that is? Yes. He's an open networker, and he's like, Man, I just like you. I like to meet new people. I'm happy to help them. And I'm like, then you're then you're gonna get some introductions because I like your style. Other people, listen, I'm in a stage of life where I can't meet a lot of new people, and I I ask them before I make the introduction because if it's important it should happen, but I don't want to disrupt that not privacy, but the the exclusivity that they demand because they might be in a demanding chapter of life and work. Right. So there's an art to all that, but if you do it enough, it starts to become second nature. But keeping notes and templates helps as well. That had no answer to a question, but it throwing it out there.

Rhonda Jolyean 32:17

Yeah, no, that's great stuff, but can you remind us of what an open networker is?

SPEAKER_00 32:23

I the way that I would describe it is some people they don't mind meeting somebody else if it has nothing to do with advancing their revenue or their business, they just want to meet new people and figure out where it goes. That that's more of my definition of open networking. Yeah, meet I'm I'm open to meet new people and I have the time to do it.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_00 32:41

Yep, and they they follow the philosophy of one my book is back here. That's why I'm going like this. That's the philosophy of that, then then I think it makes sense, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

And I will admit there's a chapter of where I go through where I need to be slowing down too. So I exactly can communicate that's people when I go through those periods too.

Rhonda Jolyean 33:01

Exactly. And what would you say to a leader who has a large span that wants to connect and keep relationships intentionally with their span of people or their organization? And they say, I just don't have the time to give. I'm in this season of life where I need to start slowing down. How can they uh uh think outside of the box? How can they systemize this? But you know, first they need to buy your book, of course. There you go. But second, how what's a tip that you can give when they say, I just don't have the time to connect with all of these people? What are some ways that they can connect and still protect their time if they're going through a season of life like you're going through?

SPEAKER_00 33:48

I I do this second nature and I am in my early 40s. So this is that generation is I use social media to keep in front of people. So like I have a system for making sure that what I'm involved with and what I'm doing both personally and professionally is put out there on either LinkedIn or Facebook. I've tried Instagram, I'm not as good, I'm working on it. But I think that if you can make it or find where your network is, like that just happens to be where my network of people I know and trust will keep up with. If you know this, you see periods of time where people are doing amazing stuff, but you don't have to shout it from the rooftops, but you need to find a way to get in front of people, stay in front of people, so that when an opportunity for an introduction or service or volunteering comes forward, they think of you. And social media for me does work in that regard. I also have a team that helps put out regular content in a quarterly newsletter. So, like, I try to create this is one really good thing that happened from my book. I wrote a blog post this morning, is whatever I hated about writing got better, and then I liked it, and then I look for opportunities to do it as a way to share stories. And it's like Pavlod's Dogs in terms of positive reinforcement. Somebody reads it, it makes an impact. Like I put those blogs in our company newsletter that just touches a number of people every quarter. So, whatever it is, if you can't have one-on-ones, you can find ways to do it on a mass scale and then narrow the need to see people to a few through those periods of time. Does that help?

SPEAKER_01 35:12

Yes, I really like that.

Dr. Katie 35:14

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it makes so much sense. And I love I love how it's personal, but also so much of it is systematized. Like it's it makes things as easy. We've got so much going on that it's easy to get overwhelmed. And so I like that you have all of the signature lines and those kind of things. I keep all kinds of spreadsheets and notes and and all of that.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

And AI now. Are you guys using AI? I'm I'm using it for a lot of things now.

Dr. Katie 35:47

Yeah, we love oh, I can talk about AI. Yeah, we love AI. Um, and I know one of the things you do after you meet with someone, or maybe it's before, you kind of send them a little questionnaire getting gathering information. So can you talk a little bit about that? Because I think that's really cool.

SPEAKER_00 36:07

Yeah, over time I figured out the and you'll have to tell me if I don't address the questionnaire. I figure out what I talk with most people about. And instead of just it's great to talk about it, it's a follow-up as an additional resource to share more information, invite them to the group we we connected upon, invite them to leaders institute. I have a blog on that. I try to write blogs about things I'm doing in life. And if you write them and don't do anything with them, they're not worth it. So if I meet with someone and they're interested in rotary, I have a blog to share and a system for inviting them, right? And so I have that natural follow-up to address everything we talked about and have already created everything I'd ever said about it. All I need to do is make sure that I personalize that message to them with those resources. You might be alluding to the questionnaire survey. I have people do the predictive index. I like that. And we started using it over the culture index maybe a year or two ago. But for people that I'm going into more business relationships with, I want to know what their personality type is. And there's a I think I can read it pretty

Templates Social Media And Assessments

SPEAKER_00 37:10

well, but if I can't, it's always good for someone to go through it and answer. For those that don't know, it's a personality profiling test that will give you like a cool name. Like I'm I'm considered a captain, and there's reasons what an attributes to a captain, but I also share it afterwards and have a short dialogue about do you agree with this? And sometimes they don't agree. And not that it's a fight about what's right or wrong, it's just a better way to get to know them deeper, even on the things they don't agree with, that may actually be exactly who they are, right? So I I think that's just another follow-up. And what I find in contacts, and I don't send this to everybody, it's the one that's more business, but if they won't even do that and take five minutes, then like will they treat an introduction like that in three months? So it's almost like this gauge of how serious are they in investing in a relationship to put up a just a barrier to jump over, a small one. So it's weird to think about it like that, but that's just one thing I do.

Rhonda Jolyean 38:03

Yeah, I like it. We need to research the predictive index. And when we do our next, like we've done, Mark, if you haven't listened, we've done a whole podcast on personal development quizzes and assessments. That was one that we didn't catch, but we of course there's always new stuff coming out, but we haven't Tim Hake is your guy, he would be a good guest.

Dr. Katie 38:27

It's funny. I'm yeah, I'm a captain as well.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

I think, yeah, we're the same. Yep.

Dr. Katie 38:32

Yeah.

Rhonda Jolyean 38:33

Well, there's no way that I'm a captain. I don't even send it.

SPEAKER_00 38:37

I'll send it to Rhonda and we'll make fun of whatever she is on another episode.

Rhonda Jolyean 38:42

Yep. I'm like the sea, I'm a sea otter.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

I I'll just guess you're a trailblazer, is my guess.

unknown 38:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

And then we'll see. I'll I'll write it down. Send Rhonda's.

Dr. Katie 38:54

Mark's gonna have so much homework after this.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

That's okay.

Dr. Katie 38:58

It's all systematized.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

It'll take me 30 seconds.

unknown 39:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

Yep.

Rhonda Jolyean 39:03

Well, and I think that that is what is so when I when I first met you, you're very, you know, authentic. You're very charming. You in a non-shmarmi way, which listen, my shmarm uh reader is off the charts with people. So I definitely, you know, know it. I I grew up with a charming schmarm-less person. So I can read it. But, you know, and then you get this email with all of these links and things from you. And I think if people hadn't met you initially, they could be maybe turned off by that system. However, I find it very endearing and very, no, this person is this is also his business. It's not his financial business, but he makes connecting his business. And so I think if people are very serious about becoming better connectors and better relationship builders, even if they took a couple of your recommendations from the book, they could go miles ahead of where they are today in systematizing and then getting deeper in those connections just because of a few things that you have put into your relationship machine, if you will.

SPEAKER_00 40:25

Couple things I'll mention on that. And it is not for everybody. I I I have someone that was like, what's the T T L D R too long didn't read. I've gotten that before, and I get it. And so it's almost like I've I'm almost trying to customize it based on what I'm reading with them. And I've also gotten to the point where it's like, I realize that it's not going to be for everybody. But for my experience and what it's worked, it's worked really, really well. It's kind of like in the first chapter of my book, I talk about a history of doing stupid things in high school. And at first I was like, probably shouldn't admit that, but if someone meets and knows me, they know it's so far removed from that that if someone meets during a conversation and they get that afterwards, it's okay. But to your point, you don't send that cold if that comes across as overwhelming. And it can't, and I get it. I'm a detailed person still, yes.

Dr. Katie 41:16

Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. Um, well, so we've talked a lot about the book. Where can people connect with you? Where can they get the book? Yeah, you have a podcast with one of our favorite people, Jeff Palacio. So tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 41:35

Yeah, there's a we do have a resource page. Matter of fact, the blog post I wrote this morning was uh going back through and writing a follow-up to some of the things on my book, Circe Financial slash one for all. It's our book website and the resources and blogs I've written about it. I'm very active in LinkedIn and Facebook. Those are the choice social media platforms that I use. So I'm I'm an open networker. I meet on there, I connect with you. I am also speaking a couple times this year. One of them I'm going to Phoenix for a women's group, Katie, to speak about the book. It's called Collab Culture down there because our CEO lives down there and I've been on some of their stuff that they've got going on. So that will be a fun trip in Phoenix in August. I don't know about that, but I will go speak there and also fun connections on local universities about their sales programs, are picking it up because relationships are how sales programs are being taught now, which I'm happy about. So with that, I'm professionally at CRCfinancial.com and then socially on Facebook is Mark Schaefer.

Dr. Katie 42:32

I love it. We will definitely put it in the show notes.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

And Amazon is where it's sold. So if I have a coffee with you, I'm probably bringing a copy. So reach out if you want a free copy. I'll I'll meet you.

Rhonda Jolyean 42:46

But make sure you're serious about it.

unknown 42:48

That's true. True.

Rhonda Jolyean 42:50

Oh, well, I'm so happy that you're getting speaking gigs too. That'll be that'll be great.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

It's fun. And the other one is that I'm particularly proud of is the K-State alumni chose the book to do a book review on. So in September, I get to go to Manhattan and do a little presentation to alum virtually because they're sending it to a lot of people around the country for alum. So K-State is certainly handing it back in loaves lately, which is good.

Dr. Katie 43:13

That's that is so that is fantastic. And we we've kind of talked a little bit. I mean, you're so involved, you do so much greatness, not just in Kansasity, but all around. You give back to K-State, you're a board member for Growing Futures, you are such a huge supporter of Art That Blows and all of the work that Mike Myers does. It's so much. So can you what's next? Like, what are you supporting? What are you involved in? What's what's happening other than the speaking and working and connecting?

SPEAKER_00 43:48

Uh, being a good father is what

Where To Find Mark And What’s Next

SPEAKER_00 43:50

I'm working on, right? Uh I have T ball tonight in 100 degree weather. So I I will go. And I will my my son also asked me if I could take him fishing. I was like, I don't even know how to fish. My kid knows more about fishing than I do, and now I have to take him, which is great. But I always say the final frontier, because I had kids in my late 30s, early 40s, was being a father, and it's a joy for me. And it's like you you can't do it perfect, like it's a learning and a challenge for me. But I'm trying to be more present for my family, is a big deal for me in the next several years. And we have gotten involved in our church, which is a priority because they're going to school at the church or the school at the church starting next year. So it's kind of this chapter of life where our friends become our kids' friends. Do you know what I'm saying? Like their parents. And so it's new for us because we haven't been engaged in a new community in a long time. We just keep running our professional community that turns into friends, but we're meeting a lot of new people lately because of that and the the sports and the gym and everything else that goes with it. So that has nothing to do with big and exciting, but it's going to be fun nonetheless.

Dr. Katie 44:57

Oh, it's got every I mean, it's such a fun, you're going into such a fun chapter. We we do not miss spending every weekend at the ball fields and at the you know, pitching lessons and the insert everything else here. But it is such a fun stage when you you get friends by proximity because you're around the same people all the time.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

For sure. And then one thing I might plug, but I'm hesitant because I'm re-prioritizing the rest of this year. Tomorrow is halfway through 2026. Can you believe that? Is another book. And I'm really enjoy legacy planning and working with family in multiple generations. And so I just went to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania a month ago and did some additional training on that. So the the next book might be more professional related. So that's kind of where I'm leaning into. But ask me again, I don't know if I'll start by the end of the year, if that'll be a 2027, but I'm trying to like slow down to speed up through the second half of the year.

Dr. Katie 45:52

Yeah, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:55

I could I could see that going in very cool values-based. Yep. In a very cool values-based way. So that's great.

unknown 46:03

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

Awesome.

Dr. Katie 46:05

Well, thank you for your time. Thank you for connecting Rhonda and I. The moment we met each other, we were like, oh, another fantastic connection. And then we just can't get enough of each other. So we're very thankful for you for thinking of us.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

Yeah, I appreciate it. I'm glad that you two got along so well. And I enjoy listening. So thank you for including me. And as always, if there's anything you need, let me know.

Dr. Katie 46:31

We will, we will. Well, we will put everything in the show notes so people can buy your book and make connections and support the work you're doing. And if anyone has any suggestions or recommendations on that running, I love to hear them. So please send us messages, everyone. Tell us who you want on the show so we can cover them.

Rhonda Jolyean 46:54

And yeah, thanks, Mark, for giving us the gift of each other. And yeah, we'll just talk to everybody soon. And thanks.

Dr. Katie 47:08

All right. Thanks for joining us on the path to leadership, and we'll talk to you next time. Bye, everyone.