Celebrate The Pause

Ever feel like celebration is something you’ll “get to” after the next deadline? We flip that script and show how pausing to celebrate is a leadership competency that fuels momentum, creativity, and culture. Katie and Rhonda break down why so many of us skip recognition—productivity myths, minimizing mindsets, and unhelpful cultural norms—and how the brain reads constant urgency as safety while seeing stillness as a threat. The fix isn’t confetti; it’s intentional, well-timed pauses that reward progress and close cognitive loops so teams can start the next cycle clear and energized.

We dive into the neuroscience of dopamine as a teaching signal, explaining how micro celebrations mark effective processes and counter the negativity bias that drains motivation. Then we layer in self-determination theory—competence, relatedness, autonomy—to show how thoughtful recognition boosts confidence, builds belonging, and reduces burnout. From quiet contributors to the loudest voices, we map recognition patterns that feel fair, inclusive, and values-aligned.

You’ll get a practical playbook: the Pause Protocol (pause, name, anchor), a “Celebrate Like A Leader” checklist (who contributed, what we learned, how we honor the moment), and a menu of low-lift rituals for co-located and remote teams. Think weekly shout-outs, brag boards, sensory cues that signal safety, traveling tokens, and meeting openers that connect people beyond tasks. For long projects, we outline how to plan micro milestones that keep energy high without diluting meaning.

Walk away ready to make celebration consistent, authentic, and tied to real work. Try one ritual this week, send a two-line thank-you, and watch engagement shift. If this conversation helped, follow the show, share it with a teammate who needs a nudge to pause, and leave a quick review to help more leaders find us. What’s one win you’re celebrating today?

Follow us on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/rhondajhale/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/katieervin/

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Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/

Chapters

• 1:04 Setting The Theme: Celebrate
• 2:33 The Hustle Trap And Productivity Myths
• 4:30 Why Pausing Feels Unsafe
• 7:03 Minimizing Wins And Visibility
• 9:35 Growth Mindset And Fair Recognition
• 13:14 Culture, Belonging, And Safety
• 15:50 Dopamine, Teaching Signals, Micro Wins
• 18:55 Closing Loops Before Moving On
• 21:17 Personal Celebration Habits That Stick
• 24:39 Team Rituals, Shout‑Outs, And Tokens
• 28:38 Practical Playbook: Pause And Anchor
• 31:41 Rituals, Sensory Cues, And Visibility
• 35:45 Include Quiet Contributors
• 37:55 Homework, Gratitude, And Wrap

Transcript

Dr. Katie: 0:32

And welcome back to the Path to Leadership. I'm Dr. Katie. And I'm Ronda Jolene Hale. We are so excited to have you back today. And quite frankly, I'm super excited about this topic. This is a fun one. It's one of my favorite things to talk about. Me too. And we talked about that. Like, is there a whole podcast around this? And as we got to talking about and preparing for it, we're like, oh yeah, there absolutely is a whole podcast around this.

Rhonda Jolyean: 1:00

Well, I think that that is the issue. Is I mean, I'm just gonna say it. We're talking about the importance of pausing to celebrate. And when we first started talking about it, that I think that is the issue of saying, is there enough to talk about? And yes, we need to because that's the problem. We don't talk about it enough.

Dr. Katie: 1:20

Right, right. And it's interesting because we're so wired, right? To just keep moving, keep moving. And that pausing for celebration is so often skipped. And so whether it's you know the end of the year, when this comes out, it's gonna be Christmas week and Hanukkah is all going on, and there's just so much happening that we don't sometimes slow down to acknowledge the the need to celebrate.

Rhonda Jolyean: 1:43

Yeah, absolutely. And I will say for myself too, lately I have been, and maybe people out there can relate, I have been realizing that as someone who grew up as a person who identifies as a woman, I grew up in the Midwest. I was raised, and this has nothing to do with my parents, but I was raised to believe that I needed to accomplish before I could, and I'm gonna use the word have pleasure. So it's really grind, grind, grind, accomplish, and then you can celebrate. And actually, we are going to express in this podcast that is not the way that our brains work. And so just personally, I've been going through that, and we're gonna talk about how we as leaders and our teams can actually work more efficiently and more productively if we flip the script on that.

Dr. Katie: 2:40

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And it's so fun that this is the topic for this week, because I've had two leaders' cohorts this week, one up in Teka and then one here in Kent City. And it's during it's the effective part of leaders, which is session five. So there's six sessions. But in this session, we talk about hustle paradigm. We talk about the misconception that if we're not busy, then we, you know, if we're not constantly going, if we're not constantly moving, then we're not being productive. And you know, as we prepare for this and as I was preparing for that, it's like this all ties so beautifully.

Rhonda Jolyean: 3:16

Yes, I can't wait to hear some stories about that. That'll tie in wonderfully.

Dr. Katie: 3:21

Absolutely, absolutely. Well, and I think so often we're just the what's next. And in that celebration feels self-indulgent. It feels like, oh, should I be really taking that time away? And for me, celebration is not fluff, it's it's really that emotional regulation, that motivation. It's the culture building. It's a thing that that ties us together. So I know you're gonna talk about it from kind of your lens, and I'm gonna talk about it from my lens. But let's let's dive into the real reason why we avoid celebration, because there's multiple reasons why people do it, right? Mm-hmm. So, so the the kind of three barriers. The first one is a productivity trap. The leaders feel that they must always be moving on to the next thing, that you know, let's let's go, let's go, let's check it off the the list. But what's interesting is there's a neuroscience, neuroscience angle to this, right?

Rhonda Jolyean: 4:16

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So we think that the with the neuroscience angle is that we the brain adapt to pressure and speed. So a lot of leaders are actually in this society, I'm gonna say, are rewarded for urgency and not for awareness. So when our brain adapts to pressure as a baseline, it's going to make us think that stillness or pausing, which we have to pause to celebrate, that feels unsafe. And we've talked about this before, how a lot of people can feel unsafe when they meditate. It's the exact same thing for celebration. So when you're not go-go-going, like you talked about, celebration is the exact same way. It's if we're going to pause to reflect, if we're going to pause to have a party, if we're going to pause to congratulate, that feels very unsafe. And so it feels like a loss of control, if you will. And we're just not, that's not ingrained in us. It's like what I was talking about earlier. It's accomplish, accomplish, accomplish. And then maybe you can have that pleasure or that celebrate. But then it's back to accomplishing. It's where do I go next? Because I have to, if I'm not accomplishing, then what is my identity? Right.

Dr. Katie: 5:34

Yeah, absolutely. And and that feeds into that hustle paradigm where it thinks, you know, we're we're constantly moving, we're constantly moving. But what's so interesting, I think, about hustle paradigm is just because we're doing a lot of stuff, just because our calendar is full, just because we have a massive to-do list, is it productive? Is it meaningful? I think I've said probably about 30 times this week, like, how is that serving you? Just because you're how is that getting you where you want to go? And I think that's the the trap of productivity is we think the faster our wheels are spinning, the further we're getting. But if we're going the wrong direction, does it matter?

Rhonda Jolyean: 6:10

I really like that question. That's a great question. I need to ask myself that more often.

Dr. Katie: 6:17

Yeah, yeah. And I think that's the interesting thing too, is that pause to celebrate and that pause to reflection. I think often we don't do that. We're just like on to the next and we never like pick up to think, are we on track? Are we moving forward? What is that? What does that really look like? Um, it which is interesting because I think the this ties beautifully into the second barrier, which is the minimizing mindset where we'll do something and think, well, it's not a big deal, or anyone could have done it. And and oh, it's just it, it's it wasn't that that hard for me. And it just normalizes that we don't recognize accomplishment and we just keep the grind. And I really think that when we celebrate, we can bring that normalization in. Like we need to say our name. We need to, I tell people all the time, you've got to toot your own horn because someone else is not gonna always toot it for you.

Rhonda Jolyean: 7:11

Absolutely. And that's not even with just with entrepreneurship. That's as you need a model for your teams if you're a leader, if you are creating a culture in which you have this massive accomplishment. And then you just say, oh, well, anybody could have done that. My team was just doing their job, et cetera. That is gonna roll down. It all comes from the top, is a saying for a reason, because it does. And what you are setting in place, your team members, it's gonna be ingrained in your team members. And we all know that person who in our personal lives is very minimizing, if you will, has a minimizing mindset. I see it a lot in people who identify as women and also people who are caretakers, but that's also translates to professional life. So it can be people who might have been raised to be servant leaders or people who identify as these things in their personal life, but it goes across all identities. We need to be aware of that because what we say as leaders has an impact. So what you want to model for your team will they're gonna model and reflect back to you and to their peers.

Dr. Katie: 8:28

Yeah, yeah, I agree. Have you ever read the book Mindset by Carol Dwack? Oh, that book changed the way that I live my life. I love it. I always tell people like, I think they should give it to you. Like when they're like, Congratulations, you're pregnant. Here's mindset. You should read it. I think about all the mistakes I've made in parenting, but as you're talking, I'm thinking about, you know, in the workplace. It's it's having that mindset. You know, she talks about the difference between being told you're smart and you worked hard. And you know, I think that at work, you know, we're told you're so good, you're so good, you know, you're a shining star, you're a rising star, or you're a high performer instead of you work so hard or, you know, I appreciate your effort and things like that. And it gets in the mind that at some point, if you're not in the spotlight, right, then what are you? And that comes into the celebration part too. Like I know so many places that I have worked where they celebrate the loudest person in the room. And if you have people on the back that are like, I did stuff too, like say my name.

Rhonda Jolyean: 9:38

Oh, well, and we could have a whole podcast on the rise of awareness of people with neurodivergence, people with different abilities, and how we have to make space for leaders to understand the different ways in which people contribute to the work and how absolutely there's, I mean, I'm one of those people that's the loudest in the room because I would don't fear saying things out loud and being stupid. That's not everyone. And I think that we have to understand as leaders what contributions people make and it can't always just be about the work. And that could be a great podcast idea for us to talk about how we can recognize and acknowledge people and their skills in a way that isn't just about the work because it's the way I mean think you and I talk about all the time the different skills that people bring to teams, soft skills. And I mean, you know, I love talking about AI. The rise of AI is going to the soft skills and the people skills are going to set people apart. So you are absolutely correct. And I love that you mentioned that. And also we could do a whole podcast on Carol Dewect. I love her. I love a mindset. Listen, there is a reason why people who are positive and visualize and have people connected around them who are positive last way longer in medical studies around cancer than people who don't.

Dr. Katie: 11:09

Yeah. There just is. It's helpful. And all this week as I've been doing the effective leaders session that, you know, talk about those, you know, goal setting. We talked about this in a prior podcast where I do more of those habits and intentionality. And I showed my list to one of my classes, and they were like, Well, it's all stuff that you accomplished. Like, there's no, where do you do the reflection? And I'm like, oh yeah, I don't celebrate the things I didn't get done. I I block that off every Monday to do reflection on what happened last week, what do I need to do more this week? But but trying to really lean into that mindset of growth, which I think is so important. Absolutely. I think it ties to this last barrier. And I know there's more barriers out of here out there about celebration, but this is the kind of the top three that I found, which is cultural conditioning. Some workplaces don't celebrate well. Some leaders have never been modeled. I always tell people common sense isn't common, like growing up, what I learned growing up, what we learned depending on where we worked, depending on who we work for and worked with. I think some people over-celebrate to the point where it has a negative impact because it's like every every day we're celebrating something. But I think more often we under-celebrate, we under pause to do this work.

Rhonda Jolyean: 12:31

Well, and if you are over-celebrating, then it can feel meaningless.

Dr. Katie: 12:35

Right.

Rhonda Jolyean: 12:36

And you are absolutely correct when you say that it's it can be learned. I mean, I'm going to talk about deliberate practice later on and repetition with celebration just as anything, you know, the habit building that we discussed a couple of podcasts ago. If celebration feels awkward, or if you grew up in a family or a unit that it felt awkward, or if your leader makes it feel awkward, then you're going to learn and body that it feels awkward. And so it's not going to be intimate and you're not going to want to do that. If it is embraced as something that is meaningful, tied to values, something that you can contribute to, then that's going to set the stage. Also, as people, and I've talked about this before, we are innately drawn to play and connectedness. So we want that is not learned. That is innate. Everyone is. We lose it because we, and we never actually lose it. We are trained out of it as adults, unfortunately, and we can get that back. And so if celebration, if play, if all of this connectedness is brought back in by our leaders, then and modeled in a positive, valuable, safe way, then we can also feel safe and celebrating.

Dr. Katie: 13:59

Yeah.

unknown: 14:00

Yeah.

Dr. Katie: 14:00

And it's interesting because I have a client that I work with, they're one of my retainer clients, and I love them so much. And they've done so much hard work this year, like so much. And I lead off their meetings with wins and recognition. And it's it's funny because they they're getting better at it. But when I started putting it on the agenda, it's well, I don't need it. Like it's it's not something I need. And I'm like, well, whether you think you need it or not, you do. And also, we've got to get better at it. And I just did a session with them a couple of days ago, and I said, Do you realize how far you all have come this year? Like the massive work you have done. And when I first met them last December, it was we've been working on these same goals for three years. We've been, you know, doing all stuff. And it's like they're checking things off the list. And and they've been just grinding and not pausing to see the massive growth that they have done. And so when we forced what I forced them to do it, it was like, oh my gosh, oh, we need to be like screaming it from the rooftops. And it's like, yes, yes, you do.

Rhonda Jolyean: 15:07

Absolutely. Yes, I'm so glad that that is something that they're now doing. And they can look back on and reflect. And I would love to hear eventually about how their employee surveys go and culture surveys and all of that. I'm sure it's improved.

Dr. Katie: 15:23

I'm excited as they're they're working through that because one of the things they've been working on is data and data management. And so getting those surveys, getting the right surveys. So um, this is gonna be really fun as they continue to grow. Um, well, and I think you know, so much of what we love to talk about, we like to do the research and the human side of this. Like we have a lot of thoughts, but we also like to have thoughts in our work and our research. And so, why celebration matters? There's really, again, three key pieces to to why it matters. The first one is the psychological side. I talk about all the time. My research that I did in my doctorate and that I can continue to do is confidence, uh, as part of self-determination theory. And so confidence, as part of self-determination theory, says, I'm capable to do my job. I have the tools, the resources to do my job, and I'm able to do that. And so when we talk about celebration, when we pause to celebrate, it really reinforces and boosts people's resilience, their self-work, the work that they do, the recognition, it helps them build confidence and reduce burnout. It really shows them like, oh, I worked really hard and I got someplace and I did some things. And so in my research, self-determination says that when we have confidence, we're gonna talk about relatedness here in a second, and autonomy, we're more motivated, we're happier at work, and turnover goes down and profits go up. And so when you think about that from a how how much does it cost us to pause to celebrate, to give people a boost, to give them some competence, to tell them good job. Not everybody needs a parade. Sometimes it genuinely is someone that says, I see you and appreciate you.

Rhonda Jolyean: 17:17

Yes, and the word competence, I love. We used to in change management talk about how change management should not be something that is an and. It should be a competency for all leaders. And I believe that celebration should be the exact same way. It should be a competency for managers, leaders, team leads. Because again, you set the stage. And so just as you would need to understand people and those soft skills, celebration is ingrained in a lot of project management skills. And it's skipped over a lot of the times, unfortunately. But if you want to be successful, you should take pride in having celebration as a competency. I love that.

Dr. Katie: 18:05

Yeah, yeah. And it also ties to the second one, which is the cultural side. Uh, when we talk about having a healthy organizational culture, when we talk about the connected teams and really strong teams, they celebrate together. They celebrate as they celebrate each other. And this really ties into relatedness, which is another piece of self-determination theory. Relatedness says I have connection and community at work. And you pull in the psychological safety piece, which means I can come as my authentic true self. I fit, I don't have to worry about fitting in. I'm exception for who and what I am. And so when you think about when we celebrate people in the way that is meaningful to them, it really allows us to create this norm. We value your effort, we value your progress, and we value, which again ties people back to the organization. They see me, they appreciate me. And there's so much research out there that says people leave because they don't feel appreciated.

Rhonda Jolyean: 19:11

And what is that new saying? I always forget it. It is people are starting to add into their HR policies about, I feel like it's just connectedness or welcoming because they they understand that people need to feel seen. We have a loneliness epidemic. So just as inclusion used to be the word, it's now also welcoming and connectedness, I think. And that is absolutely what you were talking about. Because why if I don't feel welcome? Why if I don't feel seen and celebrated for who I am? Why would I stay? Why would I work hard? Why would I put in effort to this mission or to getting things done, especially when things are difficult during the storms, not even the rainbows?

Dr. Katie: 20:04

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And for me, when I think about this connectedness and then and acceptance, that's why my one of my sessions is acceptance. And um, Andre Davis once told me we were talking about, you know, true acceptance. And he said, you know, it doesn't matter who you are, your background, your label, whatever, like everybody wants to be kicked uh picked for kickball. Like even if we're not good at kickball, like we want to be invited in. Like no one wants to be sneezed, you know, when we're in fifth grade sitting at the on the bench by ourselves, not being asked to play. You know, he said it to me almost five years ago. And that has stayed with me. I thought about it all the time. And when I talk about acceptance, you know, sometimes people get a little stumpy when we start talking about acceptance and belonging, and everyone wants to belong. And it's like, it doesn't matter whether you are a you know 23-year-old African-American woman or a 55-year-old, you know, competition. Man, it just doesn't matter. Like we all want to feel accepted, appreciated, and celebrated.

Rhonda Jolyean: 21:10

Belonging. I think that's the word that they're using.

unknown: 21:13

Yep.

Dr. Katie: 21:13

Yes.

Rhonda Jolyean: 21:14

That's such a warm word. Love that word.

Dr. Katie: 21:17

Yeah, I do too. So let's look at it from like the neuroscience and creativity side. So how does that all fit together?

Rhonda Jolyean: 21:25

Well, we all know that partying is fun. And I don't when we have fun, we generally release dopamine. And we think of that as, yeah, I'm having a good time. What we don't generally think about is this is also a teaching signal. So dopamine can be a teaching signal. And the teaching signal says to us, oh, this worked. Think about it as I'm playing when I'm a kid and this feels good. I'm playing with Lego, playing with blocks, playing with crayons, and I'm having a good time. This is working. Something feels right. So the teaching signal is this worked, this process, this process worked. Let's do more of this. So our brain remembers that. And so if you think about having micro celebrations, because I think it's important to recognize that a lot of teams, if they do celebrate, they wait until the very end. Well, I've seen companies that have 20-year projects or can't wait that long. You have to have intermittent micro celebrations. And we're going to talk about what that looks like later on. But our brains need little hits of not only dopamine, but we have to see these opportunities as options and not threats. So I think a lot of people have heard of the theory that we have our brains generally go toward the negativity bias. So we are set up to see everything that's wrong in life. And I think if you think about it, you know that this is true. It's not, oh, I live in a wonderful house. My dogs are wonderful. There's clouds in the sky today. I love my hair, etc. It's I burnt the toast. I why can't I never understand what my husband is saying in the morning? I the dogs take too long outside. It's every single thing that's negative, it's what's going to be in my brain. So with this negativity bias, we have to overcome and do anything that we can to put in our environments things that give us not only dopamine, but to give us possibility and options. And micro celebrations or anything visual, I'm going to talk about that later on. That helps us remember and overcome that negativity bias. That's why people talk about positive affirmations, visualization, etc. And as a leader, micro celebrations again set our teams up for success because you're going to have better outcomes of having less negativity bias and more of that positive we can continue on attitude. We can overcome, not delirious or people thinking that you can do something when you actually can't, but we can overcome these challenges. And then also we talked about how celebration is actually pausing and that can feel unsafe. But when you actually pause and you can integrate it, that means that you can complete the cycle of what your brain needs to then re-up your imagination. So if you think about the overachiever mindset, which hello, I'm raising my hand. If you continue on and continue on and continue on, sometimes you move on too fast and you don't complete any of your dreams or your imaginations. If you pause to celebrate and then take note, reflect, give yourself good a good job, a pat on the back, you're able then to say, okay, this is what worked with that dopamine teaching signal, and then to say, oh, I'm gonna start up the imagination cycle again. So then that way it completes that process. And I know if there's any engineers out there listening, they will understand that you definitely want to complete a process before starting another one. You don't want to leave things open-ended.

Dr. Katie: 25:33

And I think that's so interesting. You think the signifier of, okay, that, you know, that chapter, that project, that piece is closed. Now let's go on and into the next. And I think it's so interesting when you talk about that. It it makes me think about, oh, I don't even want to say out loud, the Kansas City Chiefs. And they didn't even like take time. Like the first one, they were swimming in the confetti and doing all that stuff. And then I think they closed the loop so beautifully. And then the second one was okay, are you looking ahead? Are you looking ahead? And when you think about, sorry, people who are not in King City and not Chiefs fans, fans, but even at their their brain celebrations, like we were at the first one, we didn't go to the second one, but the first one was you know, just celebrating. We did it, we got this. And the second one, still, whether it was on the stage during the Super Bowl or at the celebration after, it was this constant conversation of three pieces. And so they never closed that that piece, they never ended that period what's next. And so that added pressure. And I think we can all think of times where we finish something and we just jump right back into the next.

Rhonda Jolyean: 26:48

What a wonderful example. And to also just state that this had nothing to do with the Chiefs, but unfortunately, the traumatic shooting that also happened put a damper on that as well. I think that yes, you cannot see one foot in the past, one foot in the future, and then remain in the present. And so celebration with that pause helps us to remain in the present, close that loop, and then be able to start on the future. So yeah.

Dr. Katie: 27:21

I love it. And so let's talk a little bit about what celebrations can look like. Because I think people think, and I say this all the time, it doesn't have to be this massive parade. Like not everyone needs balloons, not everyone needs a big massive thing. So we're going to talk about both personal and professional celebrations. And you know, the personal celebrations, I really think about what we've already talked about, that acknowledgement of progress, not perfection, but really that progress, how we've been moving forward, what does that kind of look like for us personally? And we talked about this when we talked about goal setting and habit setting and those kind of things. You know, when we spend time journaling, reflecting, talking to people about the work we're doing, I think it gives us this wonderful set of here's where I'm in the moment, here's where I'm headed forward. This is something I need to pause to celebrate. When you're talking about the neuroscience of it, I think about, again, my monthly reflections. I don't do the negative stuff. I celebrate all the goodness. Because we know if we're making a list of things that we did wrong in a month, I mean, we're gonna need another set of paper. Like just focusing on the good stuff gives us that momentum of greatness, I think.

Rhonda Jolyean: 28:32

Well, your perception becomes your reality. If you're jotting it down, that is there's a reason why people who take notes by hand memorize things better in classes than people who just listen or take it on the computer. If you're writing down negative things, if you're typing negative things that you remember and are reflecting on, then your brain is gonna remember that. But if you do the positives, if you do the things that you are excited about or things that you want to work on in a reflective positive light, then your brain is going to have that the opposite of that anti-negativity bias and it's gonna look for those opportunities.

Dr. Katie: 29:15

Yeah, yeah. And I think from my work that I did this year, you know, it's so interesting because I mentioned in the podcast that we did before, and I tell people all the time like I used to set, you know, goals and all of this stuff, and then it falls off and you lose energy. And I think what helped me be so successful this year was first of all putting meaningful habits in place, but then also pausing each month for that reflection, pausing all the time to do it. If I were to have set like the goals that I'd reached this year, the accomplishments that I've had, if I would have started in January of 2025 saying this is where I want to be, first of all, scare the hell out of me. But second of all, um, I don't know that I would have gotten here because I would have been so focused on the end and checking that mops as a progress that got me there. So I think that psychology of what are the habits that I need to put in place to be who I want to be got me, got me there. And doing that reflection is what kept the momentum going.

Rhonda Jolyean: 30:15

Well, and we don't in this society focus on progress. We focus on the goal. It's that values versus goal-based life that we discussed a few episodes ago. So you're absolutely right in trying to focus on that progress. And then you also have this entire artifact now that you can look back on and say, look at all of these things, even when times are tough. You can look back on and say, look at all of these things that I do have to be proud of, even though maybe I didn't hit all of the things that I wanted to do in the year.

Dr. Katie: 30:49

Yeah, yeah. I think so. It just makes me think as I'm, you know, I have some friends whose kids are graduating from college right now. And, you know, they we think about high school and you know, the medallions and the ribbons and the cords and the this and the that and everything else. And it's like, you know, I think celebration is good, but I think sometimes we just we put so much weight on the accomplishments in the did you get the medal? Did you get the the sticker? Did you did you get this? Or did you just fuck your ass off? Uh, you know, and and finish. And you know, we always tell our kids, you know, survive in advance. Like you, you got there, you worked really hard. And at the end of the day, uh, you know, I'll be 50. I cannot wait. I'm so excited. But you know, since I graduated from college, nobody has asked me my GTA, nobody has asked me, you know, that kind of stuff. And I think we put these, you know, uh these unrealistic, unnecessary, like, oh, you weren't a full point L. Yeah, okay. Uh it doesn't matter today, it doesn't matter. It does not matter today. And so it's it's that progress I think that we want to enforce with people celebrate the progress, celebrate the hard work that you've done.

Rhonda Jolyean: 32:04

And remember those values so you understand if you're living the life that you want to live. Because when you were talking about that, I said to myself, did you have fun? That's my one of my values. Like everybody having fun.

Dr. Katie: 32:18

Exactly. Well, and when we think about professional celebrations, so in business at work, you know, there's so many things that we can can do. The team shout outs, doing kind of mini retrospectives of milestones. I love that you talked about, you know, some projects take five, 10, 20 years. And so one of those, I always tell people, you know, you need to set those, you need to cut things into chunks. You need to celebrate them because if they're so massive, first of all, it's overwhelming. But two, we don't set in those times and those milestones to pause, to celebrate, to reflect, to, to enjoy the hard work that we've we've done.

Rhonda Jolyean: 32:57

Well, and I think even, and I feel like a lot of people got great at this, and a lot of people got terrible at this during the pandemic. As a leader and setting this with your team, a value of starting conversations and meetings. It could be as simple as starting conversation and meeting with, we are going to have small talk. We are going to ask each other, how are you? Or say, I really, Katie, I really appreciated that you filled in for me when I had a personal emergency last Friday. Or you, you know, it doesn't have to be you're such a rock star because you are the loudest, you know, or when you come up with the most ideas. Um it just is make sure everyone's included, make sure again, things that your team has decided it on, but make help everyone feel seen, that belonging is so important. And it's just taking the time to be connected. I think if you have a virtual team, that is one of your biggest goals to make sure that you have that small talk. And that can be the biggest celebration habit that you put into place today. Or I guess, you know, if you're listening to this over your break, then in January.

Dr. Katie: 34:15

Right. And you know, it's funny because I, as you're talking, I'm thinking of two examples. Reconciliation services here in Kansas City, they are such a phenomenal nonprofit. And I've done so, I've done a couple of workshops for them. And it's cool because when they get everybody in the room, which they don't get to do as much as they would love to, but the the leadership team is phenomenal. But they start off the meetings with shout-outs. And they are big and small, they are, you know, tweeted, like this person, exactly what you said. Like this person did this, and I appreciate it. And you can just see the joy in people when someone else says their name and waves the flag. And I think they're so good at that. And then we've talked about before. I think you know, we make a whole podcast about Mark Schaefer in Kansas City is good at this. I mean, he is just he has a whole system, he wrote a great book about it. I think we've talked about it, but if not, it's he's just it he's so good at seeing people, recognizing people. We got a new house and we moved. And a week later, I had a little package delivered from FedEx. And I'm like, what is this? And it was a new return address stamp. It just the kindest little note. I'm like, I want to be you when I grow up. This celebration, both on the personal and the professional side. And and there's there's so some people that are really good. And while I'm so impressed with Mark, I know my limitations. I know my limitations, I know what I may and people love and what I'm not. And so I find ways to do it that works for me. But creating that habit, I think, is really powerful.

Rhonda Jolyean: 35:50

Well, and to that, to to say stories to give people examples. I worked with a leadership group that and team, when things were super challenging, I mean, you can get weird with it, you know, you can do anything. And you don't have to go outside of what you're already doing. Maybe there's an inside joke and you can make that into a celebration. This team took these weird affirmation cards that were an inside joke, but then on Fridays, they had big team meetings, and the leader would pull out an affirmation card, and then she would say to people who demonstrated that affirmation. Oh, I appreciate you for doing this. And then people would go around the room and kind of like the reconciliation services, but they made that token, that visual artifact, part of not only their culture, but also that celebration. So it doesn't have to be expensive. I would use the lame pizza party as an example. You know, if it has meaning behind it, your people will enjoy it. And that's if people take anything away from this podcast, I would say the number one thing that I have learned is just like with most initiatives, as a leader, have things in mind, but bring in your people. Because grassroots efforts like that with your folks, if they have a say in it, it's going to be more meaningful to say how do you, what are your ideas?

Dr. Katie: 37:26

Yeah. Yeah. And what's meaningful to them, I think, you know, as we think about, you know, what are some practical tips? What are some tools that we can use immediately? It's, you know, finding the things that are meaningful to the people on your team. What does that look like? What are you capable of doing? And so there's just a couple ideas here that I'd really like. Um, one is the the pause protocol, which is pause, stop to acknowledge the moment, name it, what did you accomplish and what effort did it take, and then anchor it. Write it, say it, create a ritual around it. It just takes a very short amount of time to pause and say, huh, okay, this works. This did well. And then the other checklist that I love is celebrate like a leader. When something goes really well, ask yourself, who contributed? What did I learn? And how can I honor the moment? And I think that's really neat. And when I worked in an office full time, I had on my calendar at 10 o'clock every day, like send a send a love note, send a thank you note. And now I think I've missed it multiple times. I have it at 5 p.m., which is reflecting gratitude. And that's where I send that, but it's it's creating that checklist to to do that work that I think is so important.

Rhonda Jolyean: 38:42

Yes, and I like the idea of doing it in a technical way. I used to be good at sending letters. I kind of want to get back into that in 2026. We'll see if that actually happens. Yeah.

Dr. Katie: 38:56

Yeah. Well, and and I think it's interesting because you talked a little bit about urine and project end and then also creating rituals around it. So would love to hear kind of what what you've had or you've seen or kind of your thoughts on that.

Rhonda Jolyean: 39:09

Well, I think, and if you're listening to this in real time, you've probably already done strategic some strategic planning, you know, or maybe you wait until the new year to do strategic planning. But you can, if you haven't talked about celebrations and what that looks like in your team, that would be a great location or venue to do that in, is at your strategic opening of the year or closing of the year. I again, we wouldn't suggest waiting to only celebrate at those times, but those are big milestones. And you can then set in motion maybe a committee. I've worked with teams that have had actual committees, even if they don't have any money, because that's it gives, I don't know, early career people, even later career people love being a part of something. That gives people opportunities for to stand out, to do work in different ways outside of their job. It's win-win all around. So having a celebration committee can be a thing if you have a larger team. So something to think about. And then also publicizing things for your team. So one of the things that I talk about a lot is the need for sensory based celebration. So this isn't woo-woo, I promise. This is very neurologically based. So if you think about it, our bodies know. When we feel safe. So we were talking about earlier how some celebrations just feel awkward. I mean, a lame pizza party. If you feel out of place and you don't know any of the leaders and no one's talking to you, you're not going to feel celebrated. You might want to not work for the company anymore. But if you have a leadership team that has said to you the meaning of the celebration, if you are at an outdoor retreat or an intentional celebration out of the office, that is going to make you feel safer than maybe a workplace that you've had lots of challenges in. So as a leader, think about that. Getting out of the space in which you normally are, that can always be great. And who doesn't love being outside or going, doing some fun activity, patronizing some local business? And, you know, we also have to register in our bodies that it's safe. So then we can pause and then we can start that loop all over again. Also, I think it's interesting, and I've seen some teams do this in really weird ways. If you think about paste, so people think, oh, well, let's just do a lunch or a dinner or something like that. And that can work to close the loop, but you can also have rituals. So if you think about doing a Friday, you could do happy hour. Definitely do that, a recurring happy hour. But you can also do something more integrated or more safer people. You can do a coffee break every Friday morning or a tea tasting. People bring in tea saumoniers now. Oh my God. If you think about equating a tea experience or a coffee experience with your team to a middle of a really challenging event, then you your body is going to say, okay, I have more opportunity here than I do threat. Just small little things like that. And it goes into rewards and recognition as well with that. When we talk about visuals, you can do things as easy as having a brag board or a celebration board if you have an old school torque board or even just the writing boards. What do they call the marker? Yeah. And if you're remote, use things like mural or mural boards when you get on the calls and say, everybody put up a post-it note and be as easy as that. Or teams, teams and Slack and Zoom have all of the chat groups that are easy to put in. When during the pandemic, I was at company and we had a whole Teams group of just celebrations and shout-outs and a fun, have fun at staying at work or at home, working from home group. So lots of different things you can do there. Also, you want to be as visible visible and visual as possible. So you want to think about tokens. So I talked about that leader that had the positive affirmation cards. That can be a token or an artifact that people get used to equating with celebration. I was talking about this the other day and I was saying, take that elf on the shelf thing. Okay. I don't have kids. I don't really understand it. But kids, when they see elf on the shelf, they know Christmas is coming.

unknown: 43:53

Right.

Rhonda Jolyean: 43:54

So if you had a fun token or artifact that you equate with celebration, maybe it's a mascot or a dumb doll or something. People know that that is celebration. So can you imagine having this like stuffed animal that travels around to people who have like star of the week or something? And then people see it and then they think, oh, I'm celebrated, we're celebrated, etc. So just fun things like that. And then a lot of celebration does not have to be loud. So we talked about people not being loud. Celebration does not have to be loud. So you were talking about personal quiet reflection. You can also have things that are team quiet reflection. So having people submit reflections to you, having people think about what they thought went right. This can be anonymous for people. You need to be thinking about people who are not the loudest people in the room and the way that they want to answer. So it's not always great to have it open-ended and they might not want to shout out people out loud. So that's where maybe an old school comment box comes back into play. Or like if it's virtual, it's back on Teams, et cetera. Yeah.

Dr. Katie: 45:13

Yeah. And I think that there's some important points as we're kind of coming to a close here. I think we got to think about the not the loudest voices in the room, you know, or people that do more work behind the scenes that not everyone's going to know and understand. They're so critical to the organization. So we want to make sure that everyone is seen and everyone is celebrated. And it's not a popularity contest or kids and the in-group. You know, we really want to find ways to celebrate everyone's contributions. And you as a leader, it's really your responsibility to make sure you're paying attention to that. It's everyone being celebrated and not that everyone gets a trophy. That real like, what did it take to contribute to get this done? And who are the people that need to be thanked? Because really, when we do that, we create momentum, confidence, and healthy culture. But if we do it wrong, it can have the opposite impact, right? It can demotivate people, it can, it can make people feel like, well, I'm underappreciated, I'm not seen. And and we start seeing that disengagement. So we really want to create an environment where we pause and celebrate to really build that joy, to build that happiness at work and really set that tone for everyone. I think it's so important.

Rhonda Jolyean: 46:26

Yeah. And I think that when it comes to you as a leader, you like you said, set that precedent. And if you involve other people, that takes a little bit of weight off of you. And then it just makes it more fun. Which again, going back to my values, that's what I think about first.

Dr. Katie: 46:42

So yeah, yeah. Yeah. So really we're we're challenging you, challenging you to create a culture of celebration, of cause. And so homework for you all to be thinking about is, you know, to name your your one personal and one professional win, no matter the size, no matter what, like what are those? Acknowledge the good and hard stuff that you've done. And then for bonus points, you know, recognize that in someone else. Send them a love note, tell them that you appreciate them when we spend time in gratitude. It just also adds so much to us.

Rhonda Jolyean: 47:17

Yeah. And it helps us with that, combating that negativity bias because we're gonna see the good in others and we're gonna reflect that back on ourselves.

Dr. Katie: 47:26

Yeah, yeah. So we would love to hear from you. This is coming out Christmas week, or Hanukkah is going on, Hanukkah week. So we know there's so much going on. So we would love to hear from you, whether you send us a message, an Apple Podcast, you can text us, you can send us notes on LinkedIn. We would just love to hear what is your win for the week? What are the things that you're celebrating? We always encourage you to share this episode if it was meaningful and impactful. Please share it with someone that would also benefit from it. Give them a kind of reminder or nudge to pause and celebrate. We appreciate that. Whenever you rate and review, we always appreciate that. We're gonna be off next week. We're gonna take New Year's off, but we'll see everyone after the new year for a whole bunch of really exciting topics. Yes, we can't wait. Oh, it's gonna be so fun. Well, so Rhonda, I hope you have an amazing holiday that you're safe and and get to celebrate all the glove. I know that's what we're gonna be doing. I will be sick for this holiday, which is well, knock on wood. So far, I'm not gonna be sick for this holiday.

Rhonda Jolyean: 48:41

Yes. Well, I hope the same for you. And I can't wait to hear from everyone and talk to everyone in the new year. And I'm grateful for you and I am celebrating you. I love it.

Dr. Katie: 48:55

I love it. Well, thank you everyone for joining us this week on the Pact of Leadership. We'll talk to you in two weeks. Bye, everyone. Bye.