The Path To Leadership

Charting Your Own Course in Life and Work

January 08, 2024 Catalyst Development Season 1 Episode 17
Charting Your Own Course in Life and Work
The Path To Leadership
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The Path To Leadership
Charting Your Own Course in Life and Work
Jan 08, 2024 Season 1 Episode 17
Catalyst Development

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Ever found yourself setting goals with the vigor of a New Year's resolution, only to watch them fizzle out like a forgotten sparkler? Jenna and I kicked off the conversation with that very conundrum, digging into the heart of why we set our sights on certain achievements and how authenticity plays a crucial part in this process. We tackled the concept of starting fresh with the unique opportunity that the calendar presented us – a new day, month, and year all at once, and how this can be both inspiring and misleading when it comes to pursuing personal growth. It’s a candid chat about the pitfalls of hollow ambitions and the empowering act of uncovering the real 'why' behind our goals, both in our own lives and the world at large.

This episode isn't just about the introspection of goals, it's a real talk on redefining success beyond the societal checklist. As Jenna and I peel back the layers of what it means to truly own our paths, we challenge the dream of homeownership, question the traditional career ladder, and advocate for the power of difficult conversations with ourselves. We embrace the notion that success is personal and fluid, and that we're all entitled to redefine our objectives whenever necessary, not just when the calendar gives us permission. Wrapping up, we leave you with a reminder that the journey is ongoing and adapting goals is not a sign of failure but a courageous step towards authentic living. Join us for an episode that's as much about encouragement as it is about reflection, and may you find the space to reset and realign with what's truly meaningful to you.

Follow Catalyst Development on LinkedIn @catalystdevelopment, @drkatieervin, @jennascott, @emmablankenship

www.cdleaders.com

Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send us a Text Message.

Ever found yourself setting goals with the vigor of a New Year's resolution, only to watch them fizzle out like a forgotten sparkler? Jenna and I kicked off the conversation with that very conundrum, digging into the heart of why we set our sights on certain achievements and how authenticity plays a crucial part in this process. We tackled the concept of starting fresh with the unique opportunity that the calendar presented us – a new day, month, and year all at once, and how this can be both inspiring and misleading when it comes to pursuing personal growth. It’s a candid chat about the pitfalls of hollow ambitions and the empowering act of uncovering the real 'why' behind our goals, both in our own lives and the world at large.

This episode isn't just about the introspection of goals, it's a real talk on redefining success beyond the societal checklist. As Jenna and I peel back the layers of what it means to truly own our paths, we challenge the dream of homeownership, question the traditional career ladder, and advocate for the power of difficult conversations with ourselves. We embrace the notion that success is personal and fluid, and that we're all entitled to redefine our objectives whenever necessary, not just when the calendar gives us permission. Wrapping up, we leave you with a reminder that the journey is ongoing and adapting goals is not a sign of failure but a courageous step towards authentic living. Join us for an episode that's as much about encouragement as it is about reflection, and may you find the space to reset and realign with what's truly meaningful to you.

Follow Catalyst Development on LinkedIn @catalystdevelopment, @drkatieervin, @jennascott, @emmablankenship

www.cdleaders.com

Theme music by Emma Jo https://emmajo.rocks/

Speaker 1:

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Path to Leadership. We took a little break for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day and we are back. We've survived the first week in January and ready to go With me. Today I have my girl, jenna. Hey, jenna.

Speaker 2:

Hello, hello. How are you doing the first Friday of the year? I?

Speaker 1:

know, I know I'm tired.

Speaker 2:

Exhausted this year. The way that the year has started makes me so happy. I say that in the. I Am a Complete Nerd. Since it is the fifth. Today is the first Friday. It's going to be so easy. The first was a Monday, it was New Year, new Month, new Me. Everybody's got that resolution going. I feel like it's so satisfying as a complete calendar nerd. I don't know if that's the right word, but I love it that it's the fifth.

Speaker 1:

I know it's so funny because, as we were talking about topics today and you had put something either on Instagram or LinkedIn or both, about it's Monday. It's the first. It's the first of the month, no excuses, it's so perfect it is.

Speaker 2:

That's why I love it. It's so like hey, you keep saying you're going to want to do it on the first. I'm going to do it on Monday, I'm going to do it when the New Year starts. Well, that's all three of these things. Now, which thing are you going to use as an excuse, or are you going to do it?

Speaker 1:

Right, that's what I want to talk about today. One of my girlfriends sent me on New Year's Day a quote that says every year you make a resolution to change yourself. This year, make a resolution to be yourself. I loved that quote. Then I thought about the conversations that we have at Catalyst. But the conversation you and I have as we're talking about our own personal development or professional development for me, the journey to be healthy, all of those kind of things it's like how do we do and be the best that we can be? They think sometimes we make these big, lofty, like I'm going to do this massive thing, and then we get tired by the seventh.

Speaker 2:

Right, isn't it nearby your birthday? Typically that most people have not done their New Year's resolutions, which is only the 16th of January.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, usually there's the science. I don't know who. Those people say that it takes 21 days to form a habit, but it's the one day or two days or three days that you skip, that. It takes you all the way back to the drawing board. How do we make it more attainable than these big, lofty goals?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely, and I think you know we talked about the authenticity piece of this and I think that's what's really the most important here. So I'm excited for today's topic. I'm excited to talk more about just how you change yourself and grow, but also still be you, because you can't try to completely change yourself in a year, or even really change yourself at all. You are who you are, but you can be better versions of yourself.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and I think it's so interesting in our leadership development programs, whether they're their early career or senior leaders, what we find when people finish is we know what I didn't know, or you know that massive self awareness, light bulb moment. And then we see people that are like I'm so sorry, I should have done better, and it's like, well, but you didn't know. So what are you apologizing for?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think you know the when you know better, you do better is a huge piece of it. But I think what I usually hear from anybody in our leaders cohorts whether it be, you know, our actual leaders Institute, or from the internal corporate leaders they always say, like you gave me time for reflection, and I'm like you guys, I am not the only person who holds the keys to reflection Like you can do this anytime you you know and I feel like that's a big New Year's resolutions for a lot of people is to spend more time with themselves or get to know themselves. But I really feel like getting to know who you are whether that be through leadership development or journaling or meditation or working out or whatever it is just spending time with you is a huge way to be able to really level yourself up, because if you don't know who you are or you know what's important to you, you can't change or grow.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting because one of the first steps that we have leaders do is a personal spot analysis like who are you and then who do you want to be anything? And I think so often we skip over that who are we? And we just focus on who we want to be and not necessarily even the why. But you know, behind who we want to be, it's just like, oh, I want that fancy title because that's a fancy title, and it's like but what does that title ever do for you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's something I posted, you know, on the 1st of January. It's everybody's gung ho, everybody's motivated on the 1st of January and, like you said, by the 5th we're like, yeah, well, maybe, but if you know why, like not the surface level, why I think the thing I used was that I like to travel more. Like, I want to travel. Okay, well, why? Why do you want to travel? You know, for some people it's that they get to learn and grow.

Speaker 2:

For some people it's that they just need to break from life. Like, there's a deeper why in there, and if you don't know the actual why you can't intrinsically motivate yourself, right, like, the biggest New Year's resolution is to be healthy. Okay, well, why do you want to be healthy and be honest with yourself? Like, is it because you're tired of people not respecting you, because they look at you in a certain way Great, that's wonderful motivation. Is it because you have grandkids that you want to be able to play with and spend time with? Awesome? Is it because you have a family illness that you know is looming over your head and you want to be able to, like, not be the one that falls to that? Know the real reason, not just because I want to be healthy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah and I think kind of back to the quote is so often we do things because we think we good, or to keep up with the Joneses whoever the Joneses are, and they're probably not even really the Joneses, it's they're putting on a social media presence. But you know why. What does that mean? And are we doing it because we authentically want to do it, or are we doing it because we want to fit in, because society tells?

Speaker 2:

us what to want right. Like do you want the fancy clothes and the fancy car and the this or that? Like I feel like one of the ones happening right now is really like do you want to own a house? Like, yeah, all many people right now are like, oh, I'm going to buy a house. Like, do you want a house? Do you want to own a home? Like, why do you want to own a home? Like, for us, right now, there is no reason to not have this small apartment because we like to travel, which means I can leave an apartment that is, you know, two bedrooms and somebody else takes care of, and there's heat fluctuating and there's a management team to call versus, if I leave for an extended period of time and I have a house to take care of, I have to have somebody go check on it and just not worth it. So not letting that societal pressure get you is a big piece, I feel like yeah, yeah and it's.

Speaker 1:

It's funny. I was just talking to a leader recently and you know he was making assumptions of what his team wants and you know well, I know they all want to sit in my chair as the president and I'm like not everyone wants to be president, like not everybody wants that stress, pressure, job cadence, whatever, whatever it is. And so you know, given our self-grace, not everyone wants to be insert whatever here.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So I think one of the you know we started this with thinking about, like how do we actually set our stuff up to be authentically ourselves? And I think one of the biggest topics is having the difficult discussions. Is that a difficult discussion with your team? Is that a difficult discussion with your partner? Is that a difficult discussion with yourself? And figuring out like why am I motivated to do this? Is it something I actually want? And then having a little bit of tenacity and breaking it down into steps to actually do that, because you can't do 365% better in one day, but you can do 1% better every single day, and then let the long game be your friend.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and I will add in there you know, define success for yourself. You know what is a you know successful weight loss journey look like. What does a successful professional or personal development journey look like for you? Like what? What is that outcome? And it's okay if that outcome is different than what someone else would define as a success, even if it's your mom or your dad or whatever, like my mom would always be like you need to go in and ask for this title. You need to go ask for this title and it's like title doesn't define me, access, opportunity, impact define me, and so for some people, title does define them and that's, that's okay. But what does success look like for you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I agree it's. Knowing what success looks like is a big piece. I mean, that's that's common sense, right, like that's that's what we refer to as common sense. So many of us don't have common sense because we never talk about it. Like if I say to Katie, like I want to be a successful COO, she doesn't know what that means in my head. Does that mean you make a million dollars a year? Does that mean you have a lot of business? Like what's the difference here? And until you actually had those conversations, whether it be personal or professional, you don't know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. And so we know that Emma loves to assign homework. Emma can't be with us today because she is literally rock-starring it out in Nashville. I wish we were there with her. But you know the the homework she would assign here, I feel like, is you know, having people pause and do that reflection, you know? And finding what works for you? Is it journaling? Is it, you know? Having conversations with a coach, a mentor, an advisor or something like that? But really doing that hard reflection. It's okay that you said what you were going to do on the first, but you know what? My birthday is January 16th, so it's every birth for everybody too. We can all celebrate January 16th. So you know, if you need to reset, reset it's. It doesn't require you to do it on the first or on Monday or the first of the month. We can reset anytime.

Speaker 2:

No, and I think that's one of the things that I always have to reiterate to people. Like, when people come to me with fitness and they're like, hey, help me with this, I'm like you cannot mess this up. They're like, well, I went out one weekend and I ate really bad and I did this and that and I'm like, ok, jump back on. And they're like but I didn't. I'm like, ok, like you don't have to wait until Monday, the first, the new year, a new month, whatever it is to hop back in. Like you can be, like you know what.

Speaker 2:

I took a break Great. A really great example is you guys know I read all the time. That's what I'm always doing. I have had the same book. I had to go back and look and it's still sitting over here on my coffee table. I have been reading the same book since October and I'm like, man, I am not getting through that one, clearly right. But I've also listened to two Harry Potter books because my brain just needed a break, I just needed time away, and so, like, my identity is not I'm a reader, it's. I enjoy growing and so if I need to take a break from it, wonderful. But you don't have to feel like you're an imposter because you didn't consistently do it every single day.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, exactly, and you know, as we're going to wrap up, we talked about keeping this short and sweet, but which is hard for us, because you and I could talk about this kind of stuff for literally days because we love it so much. But one of the other things that I just want to remind people is something you say all the time and I say it to my coaching clients all the time is your brains made to keep you alive, not happy. So can you talk about that, especially when we talk about our goals and setting ourselves up for success?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think this just comes from years of being a health nerd and loving the way that our bodies work and loving neurobiology and I say nerd with a total affection, because I just enjoy learning.

Speaker 2:

But when you look at what our brains and bodies really are made for, it's to keep us alive.

Speaker 2:

That is its main objective, so that we can procreate and continue the world and continue the species of human beings. But it's not made to keep you happy, and so an example of this is when you set goals if they make you uncomfortable, especially if it's because you're stepping out of your normal, because maybe you're doing something that isn't in your normal, in group, like if you're somebody who decided you want to be healthy in 2020, and your group is some group that maybe goes out every weekend and drinks a lot, is hungover and eats bad food. You're not going to fit into that group and it's going to feel bad because survival is being here right and so really just making sure that you know it's going to feel bad and it's going to be really hard because your brain is saying that's not right. You're not going to survive if you leave the group. You can't survive without those people. So come back here and just knowing that it's going to get harder before it's easier.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I love that. And you know change is hard. Do hard things and we can do hard things. Our body, our brains can do it. It just is going to be uncomfortable.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely. One thing I thought about while we were talking before this is a really good way to help yourself is to more upset intentions instead of goals for the year. Goals are great, don't get me wrong. I love setting specific, measurable, smart goals. But how do you want to feel as you go through the year? And then, if something comes up, you can check in and say, hey, does this still give me that feeling? Am I still working towards a different way of moving, being whatever that might be? And I just had to slightly pivot, had to adapt, because adaptability is, you know, one of the hardest things to teach. But when you're like, hey, that goal didn't work, let's change. That goal didn't work, let's change. To still get towards an intention is a little easier on your brain than goal setting.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and I encourage people that success and failure is what you define it to be. How things work is for you to decide. There are so many books that we talk about. One of our favorite books is Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. Yeah, so, as you're thinking about what success and failure looks like, that is such a great book. It's a book attached to it that you can get, and so do that for yourself, like for me. That's the gift I think that everyone can give to themselves this year is being their authentic, true self, you know, and making themselves maybe not happy, but satisfied. By the end of the year, can you look back and say I am better because of the year that I had.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that and it's just, it's the little things, it's the day-to-day activities, it's the 10 minutes, it's the things that you're like, oh, I could sit on the couch and not do this, but I'm going to get up and do it. That really will make the difference.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I love it. Well, and because we surround ourselves with people that make us better and encourage us to be better. I'm so thankful for you and Emma, because we all grow because of each other and get better and challenge each other and push each other. So thanks for joining me today. Thank you everyone for joining us. Any last thoughts before I say goodbye to everyone?

Speaker 2:

No, absolutely not. Thanks for having me come on real quick. It's a fun one when we get to do the short ones sometimes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, sometimes you just need a little like here's a little bite. We'll have a longer conversation later. So, everyone, have an awesome week. If you are, this will come out on the eighth. And so if you're like, oh my gosh, yep, I didn't make it through the first week, who cares? That's all right, we'll do it again. Pivot and change. Yeah, yep, so all right, we will talk to everyone soon. Thanks for joining us. I locked up just at the right time. Oh okay, are you there? Perfect, yeah, end.

Embracing Authentic Growth and Self-Reflection
Setting Goals, Defining Success, Discussions
Short Farewell and Encouragement

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